Insights by J (and K!)

I realize that it has been a looooooooong time since I last posted. I blame nursing school. But, a special occasion deserves a special post.

Justin and I have been playing around with photography for a while and I am here to shamelessly give us some PR...

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STD Group Activity

Don't get excited. It was WAY less fun than what you're thinking. It only involved reading CDC fact sheets....

Is it STILL Today?

I really should've been named Murphey.

It's been a bad day. One of those Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Days!

Today's events in the never-ending process of being readmitted to not only the College of Nursing, but also the the University of Utah were harrowing. They included a trip to the BYU bureaucracy which started out very very badly with power-tripping student "supervisors" and many trips across campus... and during which I was recipient of a small miracle, watching someone's heart soften before my eyes.

Lest I sound like all I do is gripe, here are some blessings I noticed and good things about today: my nausea from my meds went away earlier than usual; I didn't crash driving anywhere; the chiropractor saw me 30 minutes early; the regular doc did my tests and shots and it just happened to coincide with my one day off/week; I bought myself a Starbucks for the drive which always seems to make things better; my Stats final went better than expected AND way faster than I thought AND it was all multiple choice; I got good parking spots all day; after the headaches and prospective BIGGER headaches, everything at BYU wound up working out (for today. All I was asking for was that today would work out); I made it back to the U 10 minutes before they closed with my BYU transcripts that were to be hand-delivered, thereby preventing having to make J late for work tomorrow by driving me back to lower campus in the morning and then up to my building.

So, while today was very hard and the culmination of stress finally broke me down for one humiliating moment of crying in public, I continue to be blessed throughout, making me know that while it's difficult, I am not forgotten nor alone.

It's the Small Things That Mean So Much

Sorry I haven't been around. I've been a little busy. I did an entire Statistics class for BYU Independent Study in 10 days and it almost killed me! I took 3 midterms for it on Friday and then ran out of time to take the final. Went back down Saturday to take it and the office was closed. I even asked the kid at the desk, "So you'll be here tomorrow for me to come in and take the final? We're all set?" "Yes," he answered. "We're all set." I guess he didn't know that "tomorrow" meant the day after Friday, meaning Saturday. Oh well. We had a birthday dinner with some great friends and it all turned out. But I have to go down this Wednesday and take it.

While I was taking that last midterm, I got a message from the University of Utah telling me that I had been accepted to restart the nursing program with the 2nd semester class! Monday. And it was after 5, so no one was there for me to call back. I didn't even know where to show up or when today. So I just showed up. And got yelled at for not being in uniform. Twice. It's been a whirlwind of a first day. There have been a LOT of speed bumps (not knowing where to be, having to reapply to the University, no computer access, being the "new kid", etc.) and a LOT of little blessings.

For instance, I was told by the clinical instructor that the only opening for me was on a Saturday/Sunday clinical group which would mean that I would miss my opportunity to go to church and teach my little 5 year-olds, let alone the benefits I get personally. After hearing this, I said a prayer in my head that it would work out. It was a pretty fervent and almost panicked prayer as I have come so far and jumped over so many hurdles and through so many hoops to get back in this program, only to feel like it was one more barrier trying to keep me from achieving my goals.

When I went to sign my life away on the paper to join the Sat/Sun group, it came to my mind to ask one last time. I mentioned that there were 2 students that hadn't continued and asked if it would be at all possible to see which group the other one had been in. It was a Mon/Tues group and after checking with the boss's boss, they let me in it! I know this seems so marginal, but to me it is a big thing. I'm not sure how I would've made it through the whole semester.

Lately in my life I've just really felt blessed. Maybe it's just that I'm recognizing it more, but I've just felt Heavenly Father's hand in my life lately. It started a couple months ago when I got food poisoning and was as miserable as I've ever been. My husband gave me a priesthood blessing and I didn't feel better, but I felt an overwhelming peace that I'm not sure I've ever felt before. I knew that it had to take its course, but I felt that I wasn't alone through it and that He would stay the night with me. It was a miserable night, but I just felt the comfort of knowing that I wasn't alone. What a beautiful feeling to have. I don't know why I deserved it, but I'm so grateful for a Heavenly Father who cares about someone as insignificant as me when I'm sick and when there's so much else in the world that needs fixing.

Since then, there have been so many little things. Last Sunday, Justin was telling a story to our Primary class who were so rapt with attention. I just had a moment of joy looking at their bright little faces and so grateful that I get to be a part of shaping these little lives and teaching them about how important they are and how much they are loved. I didn't think I'd love these little ones so quickly, but I do.

Well, I know this has been a jumble and there aren't even any cool pictures to look at. I just had to get a few thoughts down. I need to get to sleep because tomorrow it begins again. I'm just trying to take it one day, one hour at a time. That's about all I can do right now, but for right now it will have to be enough.

The First of Many

Welcome to 2009! I think it's going to be strange writing that for a while. I hope you had a wonderful night celebrating the New Year and that your Martinelli's hangover isn't too bad.

I spent the day yesterday, will spend the day today, and will spend all the days in my foreseeable future studying. Joyous.

The current subject is Statistics, an Independent Study class that I need for graduation. I think I've learned enough, but I'm no where near finished with it.

The update on school is that hopefully there's a spot for me to start with the 2nd semester students on January 12th. I won't find out until it gets closer, but keep your fingers crossed. I'm terrified out of my mind about everything I've forgotten and am downloading medical reference applications on my iPod as fast as I can so that I can look stuff up. I know it will all work out like it's supposed to, but I'm scared silly.

And I'm sure this day of feeling intellectually incompetent is only the first of many!

I Am Not My Mother

...but I wish I were that good!
...and I have a greater appreciation for her today!

She is out of town, in Sacramento to be exact, with my dad, and they are picking Andrew up from his mission! (Can you believe it's been 2 years already?)

Welcome to My Day:

Today, I was My Mother's Sub. I had to hold choir practice at 9am. We've also started having 90 minute choir practice to work on the Christmas music. That was...rough. Mostly from my ineptness at choir leading and my nerves about it. On a side note, when I was about 12 years old, I substituted for my mom directing the choir all the time and I don't remember ever being nervous about it! Why I'm more nervous now, I don't know, but probably because now I realize my inadequacies a lot more than back then! I'm not even sure that I'm better at it now than I was then. We also had a substitute piano player, so it was a lot of learning together. I was so nervous that I woke up at 5am with the choir songs running through my head and couldn't get back to sleep.

Did I mention that the piece we were mainly practicing is a beautiful piece that my mom wrote and wouldn't be here to direct on its maiden voyage?

No pressure.

After the practice, I was both cold (the weather) and had sweat running down my back (the practice). I raced home and got Kimberly, who had a meeting at the church. I opted to wait in the car for her since it was snowing and the meeting was only for 15 minutes. The 15-minute meeting went about an hour, during which time, I shoveled the walk in front of the church since I felt super guilty sitting in my warm car sipping hot cocoa and watching old people from the other ward try not to biff it on the ice. After stated hour I had to RACE back home and change for church. Fat day, nothing looked good, hadn't thought to do my makeup before leaving for Kimberly's meeting, so didn't have time to do it. Left feeling overly self-conscious, but slightly festive since I settled on a red top (and a black sweater!).

Once at church I had to direct the congregational music for my mom! The music stand in itself is an interesting dynamic to this endeavor. It doesn't stay raised, so it's down around my knees the first time I have to look at the music. Good thing Mom has the geriatric large-print Hymnal.

THEN was MY calling: PRIMARY. 5-year olds. Enough said?

After church was emergency choir practice with the actual pianist (who had been lucky enough to see the MoTab's Christmas concert this morning in SLC. I'd miss choir for that!) for the piece we were to perform tonight at the Stake Christmas Cantata.

Raced home. Got some dinner reheated for Kimberly. Wound up eating 90% of what Justin had made for himself for dinner (oops. Thanks, babe.). Raced Kimbers back to the church for 5:15 Youth Choir rehearsal. Went home. By then I was so pumped on adrenaline from the day that I couldn't sit still for the 15 spare minutes I had. I paced instead.

Turned around and went back to the church, this time with husband and brother in tow. Also pinned in place was my green yarn Christmas wreath pin that my mom made for our church choir in Ohio about 15 years ago (what can I say? I started in with the choir singing young!). It's kind of my lucky charm and I wear it every Christmas when I perform.

Spent the next 45 minutes nervous about conducting my Perfect Mother's Amazing Choir Piece. I really do love this song.

Conducted said choir, sounding better than we ever had before. I only messed up minimally, and thankfully, only the people who know the music better than I do watch me anyways. :)

Relaxed and enjoyed the rest of the Stake Christmas Cantata.

Now I'm home and ready to take off the green yarn Christmas wreath pin until....next week. When I'm singing. Oy ve.

It's Like Ripping Off the Band-Aid. S-L-O-W-L-Y.

Why do I do this to myself? For 3 years now, I've had to finish Stats class for my graduation. Due to medical circumstances, I didn't get it done the first time (on campus). So, in order to get my degree from the University of Utah, I have to finish it before I start my last 3 semesters in the Nursing program. In January (providing all the stars align and I have a seat in the 2nd semester class).

Here we are, less than a month from the deadline and... I'm blogging.

While my Stats book sits next to me on the dining room table with pencil and paper at the ready and my Stats cd is already loaded in the computer.

I've decided it's subconscious.

Tutus Make Life Happy

Yesterday I completed my first 5k. I say "completed" rather than "ran" because I wasn't able to run the whole time. Oh, to be 4 years old again and be able to run and run and run and never get tired! We were invited to the Nutcracker 5k in Orem, UT, which is themed after the Nutcracker ballet. Everyone who ran was supposed to wear a tutu. And that made it fun. I made our tutus and they were "his and hers" camo. They were pretty much amazing. Best ones there, in my humble opinion.

Here I am, warming up, also sadistically smiling for some reason (it might be from the caffeine buzz from the 3 Excedrin I dosed up with before running...):


Here's Justin in his camo tutu. He placed 2nd in his age division, even though according to him, he "sucked." Not so! He also barfed. That part does suck a little. (#694 is not Justin although I'm glad we got such a good picture of him; his tights are really cool.)

Please note the amazingly camo tutu Justin is sporting (which he promptly took off and wadded up in a little ball afterwards. I won't mention how long it took me to make aforementioned wadded-up tutu...)

Here's Wendy, who invited us, in all her tutu'd glory finishing the race with a smile:


And MUCH later, here's me with my 169th place overall finish. Again, please note the amazingly camo (and pink!) tutu. I had 4 shirts on too, hence the resemblance to the Michelin Man:


And for your tutu comparing pleasure, here are some of the others and their festive creations:

We don't think this guy was wearing shorts:


This loser may have won the race, but didn't even wear a tutu. Personally, I think this should have been grounds for disqualification:


This guy's tutu had a 'modernist' feel to it. We also think he filled it with helium to cheat:


Here's Wendy's mom, with her matching thermals:


And her Grandma, who's in her 80's, getting run down by a car while she tries to finish:


I think I'll hang on to the tutus and save them for next year's race. Hopefully then I can tell you that I ran the whole thing! If nothing else, it was memorable....because every time I walk down the stairs today, my muscles remember those hills...

Work in Progress

Uh.... I followed the "it's so easy!" instructions from a link on a friend's super cute blog to change mine to a Christmas theme...and...well, it's never that easy, is it.

I'm still trying to figure this out, and exactly what I did wrong, so it's going to look a little strange around here until I get this background stuff figured out! Whoops! Right now it's this weird mix of the new background with my old colors in all of the posts and headers and stuff. What an ugly little blog I have right now! I'll have to work on it some more.

Also, can anyone help?

Like College Humor, Only Holier...

Have you ever been to the website called College Humor? I'll warn you that it's not all PG rated, but they have a hilarious section of really stupid questions overheard in college classrooms. Laugh out loud, kinda funny. And also a little sad...

I heard about a new website this afternoon called Overheard in the Ward. It's the same idea, but set in the LDS meetinghouses. Gotta love Utah for this one. Feel free to contribute.